Dowwe Slimmighede

[Meraai vannie Baai]

Hoe leeg sal my lewe wees sonder julle humor Naas?  Giggel nog steeds vir hierdie bekkigheid van die Boesmans!

[PM]

Hierdie klink nie vir my na dowwe slimmigheid nie, maar baie warm slimmigheid.   

[Meraai vannie Baai]

Verskoon die Engels, daar is nie 'n spesifieke taal vir lag nie, so geniet 

I'd like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?

Answers are what we have for other people's problems.

Excuse my naivety - I was born at a very early age.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Take my advice — I'm not using it.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera!

Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my legs!

People talk about having an inner child, I don't, I have an inner old lady who sings inappropriate things, tells everyone to be quiet and wants to go to
bed at 8pm.

When I get old I'm not going to sit around knitting. I'm going to be clicking my Life Alert button seeing how many hot firefighters I can get to show up.

I'm making some changes in my life, if you don't hear from me, you are one of them.

Whatever you do always give 100%, unless you're donating blood.

Take life with a grain of salt... a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

If you want to make time fly, throw your alarm clock.

Is "Virgin Mobile" a nun-wheelchair?

Remember... if the world don't suck, we'll all fall off.

I'm not saying you're stupid!! I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking!!

My brother reckons he does not have OCD, because if he did, OCD would have been in alphabetical order.

They said "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.

I'm so glad my winter fat is gone, now I have spring rolls.

You know that little voice inside your head that tells you things you should not do, I don't have one.

My alone time is sometimes for your own safety.

I balanced diet sounds like I should have a cupcake in both hands.

I eat cake just in case it is someones birthday somewhere.

I'm not fat, God gave me airbags cause I'm precious.

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

We consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

[Trapsoetjie]

If you want to make time fly, throw your alarm clock. - As ek hom agtertoe gooi sal dit tyd terug draai?   

Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my legs! 

Dankie dankie lekker laggie vir die daggie.

[Naas]

My juffrou is so sterk sy het 'n liniaal in twee gedreek met haar kaal hande.
My juffrou is so sterk sy het haar lessenaar omgegooi.
My juffrou is so sterk, nou die dag hardloop daar 'n muis teen haar been op onder haar rok in. Sy het net een karatigil gegee en drie liter water uit daai muis uit gedruk met haar bene.

[PM]

   Wag tot jy my ouderdom het dan sal jy sien die trane loop maklik langs jou bena af.   

[Assie]

Oupa se Ta PM moetie worrie nie. Enige valve se wasser lek maar een of ander tyd al word die valve nie meer gebruik nie.

[PM]

Oupa is alweer reg.      Oom Hannes sê hy gaan die dokter vra of daar nog nie dikderms beskikbaar is nie, hy wil graag een laat insit. 
Hy gaan ook vir oom Dokter vra of hy die prostese wat hulle vir hom gaan insit (die heupvervanging) in sy testament aan iemand kan skenk.   

[Naas]

Ek maak mos lankal tweedehandse kieries, looprame, tanne en oumensdoeke bymekaar want met my pensjoen kan ek nie nuwes bekostig nie. Smaak my ek het van heupe en kniee vergeet.
Hulle wil daai president met die lang kop se brein verkoop na sy dood. Hulle waarborg dit as ongebruik.

[PM]

'n Mens het nie 'n waarborg nodig nie, jy kan dit mos vir jouself uitwerk.  Is dit sy vrouens wat 'n bevolkingsontploffing laat plaasvind het?

[Naas]

Nee hulle was die teelaarde waarin hy sy dinamietstokke geplant het. Dis wat die bevolking laat ontplof het. (en toe spat die poe poe die hele land vol.

[Assie]

Oupa se hoe laer die IK hoe hoer die drang op voortplanting. (hierdie slag is ek bly ek kan nie oemloud nie)