An English father goes into his daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter addressed to “Mum and Dad” on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and reads:
Dear Mum & Dad
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I’ve eloped with my new boyfriend . I’ve found real love and he is so nice . Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos and his big motorcycle .
But it’s not only that, I’m pregnant, and Bruce said that we will be very happy in his caravan in the bush . He wants to have many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams too.
I’ve learned that marijuana does not hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and Bruce’s friends . They’re the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.
In the meantime we’ll pray for science to find a cure for AIDS, so Bruce can get better . He deserves it.
Don’t worry about money. Bruce has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement . Apparently I can earn 200 pounds per scene . I get a 200 pound bonus if there are more than three men in the scene and an extra 100 pound for the other animals.
Don’t worry Mum . Now I’m 15, I know how to take care of myself . Someday we’ll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Sarah
P.S. Dad, it’s not true. I’m watching TV at the neighbours. I just wanted to show you that there really are worse things in life than England loosing the Ashes.
