I was lucky - and very much blessed. In 2004, to be precise the 24th of December 2004, I had the idea that I should end it all and I could already feel the butt of my .45ACP in my hand. Then God said to me - my dear Natalie, if you do finish up now, who is going to clean up after you? And just something else, in My mind, you write better than you shoot and I would prefer you to rather shoot a couple of words to throwing pieces of lead. So I wrote and I cried and as I wrote I had to wipe the tears off of the paper. The best part of this all is - I wanted to go fetch the .45 from the safe but I already had a .22 pistol right next to me on the bed. I am ever so glad I listened to God that morning.