Author Topic: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors  (Read 343 times)

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Offline Meraai vannie Baai

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Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
« on: March 25, 2019, 03:17:15 AM »
Ek aanvaar geen verantwoordelikheid as dinge skeef loop indien jy die volgende probeer (let wel probeer...   :icon_biggrin:)

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . . .. . . . . . . .

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.


Offline adele

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Re: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2019, 04:52:38 PM »
 :toothy4: giggel omtrent my brilglase dof   :toothy4:   :toothy4:
adéle  :grommit:

Offline Assie

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Re: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2019, 08:26:04 AM »
Die ou tannie sien daar kom 'n stofwolk oor die erf gery. Die trekker se bande fluit soos die gevaarte voor die agterdeur tot stilstand kom.
Haar man, die boer, storm by die agterdeur in en jaag haar kamer toe want sy nood is groot. Toe hy haar eintlik in die kamer kry is die oomblik verby en hulle is altwee bietjie teleurgesteld.
Volgende keer as jy sien ek jaag op die huis af gaan maak jy solank reg in die kamer sodat ons nie weer tyd verspil nie.
Ses maande later jaag die trekker weer een stofstreep oor die erf. Sy storm kamer toe, pluk haar klere af en duik in die bed in. Haar man kom uitasem die kamer in, gee haar een kyk en gil: "Die verdomde skuur brand af en jy le kaalgat in die bed!!!!"


 :mumum:

Offline Meraai vannie Baai

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Re: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2019, 11:13:49 PM »
Hahahahaha. Ek bulder onvroulik  :headbang: :`ip2: