Author Topic: As jy praat voor jy dink...  (Read 183 times)

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Offline Meraai vannie Baai

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As jy praat voor jy dink...
« on: January 18, 2019, 01:54:33 AM »
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget it.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The s silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed up to a couple of inches and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, as they were laughing so hard!


Offline Meraai vannie Baai

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Re: As jy praat voor jy dink...
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2019, 01:59:34 AM »
En as jou man jou woorde letterlik opneem....  :toothy4:


Offline Naas

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Re: As jy praat voor jy dink...
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2019, 02:32:39 AM »
Dis nie mooi nie. Ek het nou uit die bed geval van lag en die hele huis is wakker. Tot die buurman gil iets van werk half ses.


 :icon_bigsmurf:
Ek is maar net een, maar ek ís een.

Offline Meraai vannie Baai

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Re: As jy praat voor jy dink...
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2019, 04:24:20 AM »
As ek die goete raaklees is dit asof 'n magneet my forum toe trek - moet deel met die ouens wat ek weet net so gaan geniet Naas  :icon_biggrin:

Offline PM

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Re: As jy praat voor jy dink...
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2019, 02:00:01 PM »
Pragtig, ek het dit baie geniet.  Dit is nie net ons taal wat so skreeusnaaks kan wees nie. 
Om te weet is om te verstaan.